The Gift of Limits

Wow! What were we thinking?

This all happened in February, and my senior leader informed me what my summer responsibilities would include. Here’s a short version of the list:

• Lead a teen camp for a week.
• Lead a separate children’s camp for a week.
• Plan and run a senior high missions’ trip for a week.
• Do it all over again for a separate junior high missions’ trip.
• Create a week-long teen version of VBS.

It was crazy to say the least!

Young, still seeking others’ approval, and somewhat proud of what I had accomplished, I wore my work like a badge of accomplishment. Yet, my inner soul was tired, fearful and asking the question, “When will be enough?”

I remember in that very moment, beginning to tell my wife and myself the lie, “It will slow down after this next push.” At the time, I had no idea that it was a lie, nor did I have any idea how often I would end up saying it.

What happens when “Living beyond limits” becomes your reality?

Exceeding our limits repeatedly is not a sign of great strength but rather an indication of emotional unhealthiness often driven by ambition and unhealthy motivation. For a time, living beyond my limits became the norm. It resulted in a growing ministry, high praise from the church – and a weary soul. Living beyond my limits bore fruit for the ministry but also fed an unhealthy compulsion in my soul.

It affects our ability to be present with God.

When our lives are marked with hurry, lack of rest and continual hunger for more, our senses become dull. Our ability to notice, be present, and sense the movement of God fades. The volume of activity becomes violence to our souls. In these times, our sheer pace keeps us from seeing the very image of God present in those around us. They stop being people and become means to an end. Distant from God, living beyond limits, dulled to his presence – He simply whispers for you to stop.

It affects our marriages and families.

Living beyond limits affects us holistically. We can’t compartmentalize burnout. When we repeatedly place more time in our ministry, we naturally have less time being at home. Missing memories, special moments, and key life events which can never be reclaimed can often become the norm. Each of us only has so much emotional-relational energy to give. In caring for others within ministry it is easy to live beyond limits, give our best to people we don’t know, then return home to our very families with nothing left to offer. Our marriages and families are our greatest treasures, not our positions or titles.

It affects our ministries and organizations.

No one operates as a true individual. We are all connected in some form or fashion. When individuals in an organization operate in such a way that is repeatedly unhealthy, those around the individual feel the effects.

Communally we feel the push of one living beyond limits. Often in these cases, everyone is encouraged to do more, work harder, and put in more hours. Yet, living at this increased pace can cause mission shift and a general sense of one’s soul being devalued in favor of the organization. The organization then suffers due to a person not serving at their fullest capacity, or even more often, leaving all together.

Choose to embrace limits.

These days, I say “no” nine times out of 10. I work to be extremely disciplined and present throughout the workday yet leave consistently at 5:30 p.m. each day to be present at home. I make dinner for my wife nearly every night, sitting and sharing in our days. I rest and play hard, so my soul is filled and ready to serve others at the right moments.

I recognize that limits are human, and God given. God has given us all limits. In His grace, He lets us ignore them for a season, but in the end, He brings us to a place of recognition, a place where we learn to live within them as we faithfully follow Him.

How are you at recognizing limits? Remember, limits allow you to stop!